Wasn’t razed by men 

Wasn’t really raised by anybody, but I looked around early

and even as a baby sensed the women were loose, kinder, likely 

to ease you through the day with their—oh hell, I’ve done all that too 

outsider sense of humor. They were nonconformist and fun. 

Then I looked over there, where the men were  

gathered in packs, tee times, faculties, teams—safe

but alone anyway, competing anyway, everyway, everyday.

But they weren’t gathered around me anymore early

so I have a feeling it hit me when I was probably around exactly 

two and half years old ... compete? With who, for what? 

I’m me, I won!

I probably couldn’t have spelled it at the time but 

I didn’t even need the first grade to get me to that epiphany. 

There were lots of ups and downs, naturally, but many years later, 

cleaning out my car for the last time, I found myself again 

under all those beer cans and bottles on the floor of my car.

I found me again and won again. There wasn't any competition.